by Doris Helge, Ph.D. © 2013
YOU’VE ALREADY PROVEN THAT FAILURE = SUCCESS
What happens when you enthusiastically pursue a goal even though you’ve never proven you can succeed in that arena . . . and you refuse to label yourself a failure when you don’t immediately achieve your goal?
You have a rich history of doing this. In fact, this pattern was responsible for one of your greatest successes. When you were a small child, you ignored Physics 101 so you could defy the force of gravity.
As a tiny tot struggling to walk, you fell over and over again. Even though you were often frustrated, you didn’t label yourself “a failure.” You didn’t feel worthless. Each new attempt to amble around was a hopeful, determined fresh start.
Children learning to walk don’t waste energy judging their performance as inadequate. They focus on what they want. They master many new skills quickly because they see, smell, hear, and taste the benefits of success.
Instead of feeling inadequate, babies concentrate, using all of their senses. “I want to be held. I want to grab that cookie that smells like it will taste yummy. I want to see people smile at me and hear them coo. There’s something I want in the next room. I’ll do what it takes to get there.”
How about you? Do you really understand that one of the greatest secrets of success is utterly simple? We just have to stand up more often than we fall down.
I’M COACHING YOU TO USE THE DESIGN OF YOUR BRAIN
Below is an exercise my clients love when they’re discouraged or afraid to take a healthy risk. My team and I also field-tested this exercise during the National Happiness at Work Studies that led to writing the book, “Joy on the Job.”
I coach with your brain in mind. I’ve carefully designed exercises like this multisensory activity to enrich stimulation to several areas of your brain that will help you change in positive ways. This helps you enjoy creatively confronting your challenges. Your inner critic will take a long nap when you substitute this exercise for self-criticism.
Since I’m also helping you link your thinking brain with your emotional brain, exercises like this help you embrace, rather than fear, new experiences. We can talk later about why a multisensory approach is so important to your achievement. For now, just remember the previous example of how the most rapid human achievers (babies) progress.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO GAIN?
Complete the following sentence stem:
“If I weren’t afraid of failure, I would _____________________.”
CROSS THE FINISH LINE BY FAILING FORWARD
Avoiding risks is so risky that it’s a reliable recipe for failure and unhappiness. Since only a hen lays down on the job and gets positive results, take your next step now.
Post your note where you’ll see it often. After two days, post a comment about your progress on the blog at http://CoachingByDoris.com/blog.
ACCEPT THE ASSISTANCE YOU DESERVE
Asking for help when you feel stuck is a sign of high self-esteem. You’re saying to yourself, “I’m ready to create a life that includes everything I want, including excellent compensation for work I love to do, rewarding relationships and vibrant health.” Would you like assistance from a compassionate coach recently named “One of America’s Top Ten Coaches” so you can overcome self-doubt and walk forward with confidence?
If your inner critic nags you with negative comments when you want to step into your greatness, visit http://ConquerYourInnerCritic.com. Claim FREE ebooks, audios and videos so you can conquer your inner critic, discover happiness at work and turn painful experiences into personal empowerment. Doris Helge, Ph.D., “The Joy Coach,” is author of #1 Bestselling Books, including “Conquer Your Inner Critic,” “Transforming Pain Into Power,” and “Joy on the Job.”
© 2013. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Originally published in “Joy on the Job.”